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Some of our men are dying on foreign soil.
And back home, we are told we are losing to the very same nation in love.
I say this in the first person because the contradiction unsettles me. We have seen reports of Kenyan men ending up on the frontlines of the war in Ukraine, drawn into the military machinery of Russia in search of income. At the same time, a Russian man trends across Kenya for publicly praising and pursuing Kenyan women — and many online declare that he represents what local men are failing to offer.
The symbolism is uncomfortable.
Are we exporting our men to fight for Russia while importing Russian men to compete for our women?
A Bruised Ego or a Broken System?
When I read Twitter threads, I see anger. “Kenyan men are underperforming.” “Foreigners are more serious.” “At least the Russian has direction.” The tone is brutal.
And I ask myself — is this about romance, or is it about structure?
If some Kenyan men are willing to risk their lives abroad for financial survival, that says less about courage and more about economic desperation. It tells me the ground at home feels unstable. The provider role, once clear and culturally anchored, is now harder to fulfill.
Meanwhile, the Russian trending online is perceived — fairly or not — as coming from stronger systems, stronger currency, clearer intention. He benefits from contrast. Not because he is flawless, but because the comparison exposes our fragility.
The Temptation to “Defect”
In a moment of sarcasm, I caught myself thinking: should Kenyan men also globalize? Should we fly to Moscow, charm Russian women, show that we too can compete? Should we match their men in their own backyard?
But that impulse is ego speaking.
Attraction is not a military contest. You cannot retaliate romantically. You cannot counter a trending Russian suitor with wounded pride and expect dignity to return.
The issue is not that he is Russian. The issue is whether we are structurally solid.
The Real Battlefield Is Here
The battlefield is not Eastern Europe. It is here — in employment statistics, in discipline, in consistency, in emotional maturity. If we feel overshadowed, it is because globalization has erased borders in both war and dating.
The painful irony is this: some Kenyan men are proving their bravery under foreign command, while being told at home they lack stability and direction.
That should not make us defensive. It should make us reflective.
If we want to compete with the Russian, we do not need to fight his war or chase his women. We need to fix our foundation.
Because in the end, masculinity is not proven by proximity to conflict — it is proven by the ability to build, to provide, and to stay.
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